Short Shots: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
by OrionTheHunter
Summary: Collection of short, one chapter stories. A good read for anyone, but intended to inspire other authors to write similar stories. ALL ARE UP FOR ADOPTION!
1. Assasins and the Zeppo

Short Shots: Buffy  
  
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Short Shot One:  
  
Assassins and the Zeppo  
  
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They think that I am the Zeppo. They have no idea. Buffy, she thinks that there are less and less vampires to kill because she has scared away those that haven't been dusted by her. On average, I stake ten times the number of vampires a week that she does. Or rather, she stakes, I kill. Thanks to Giles and the council's stuffy, old methods, she has no modern combat training. Vampires have weaknesses other than their reaction to wood piercing their harts. Decapitation destroys them. Fire destroys them. Holy water burns and sometimes kills them. Sunlight kills them. More than thirty poisons kill them. More than on hundred chemicals can kill them by burning them, especially if a priest blesses them first. Buffy uses a stake. I use anything I can. A gun included.  
  
Vampires like to say, "Ha, go ahead! That won't kill me!" Well, they are right. A bullet, even a big one, won't kill them. But my guns have large enough bullets, long enough range, and more than enough power to put a basketball sized hole in their chests. May not dust them, but I have yet to see a vampire get up from a wound like that before I get to them and stake them.  
  
It's not just vampires either. At least now I understand the council wanting to keep the slayers' identities secret. If they know you, they come after you in force. Hell, the head of the Order of Teraka, the assassin's guild, knows me by name. Apparently, a very large number of my enemies all paid for my death. He decided to take maters into his own hands. If they kill me, he will get enough money to have the order work for free for the next century. Not that he would. He is Japanese, or rather was when he started the Order several thousand years ago. Calls himself Jade.  
  
Xander was drawn out of his thoughts by the sound of a woman screaming. He rushed down the alley, and saw her. Surrounded by Terakans. Great, just bloody great.  
  
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See what I mean. This was a short shot. Some may be longer, some shorter. This was just the first of many that will be posted here. 


	2. So, Little Vampire

Title: So, Little Vampire . . .

Author: Orion

Disclaimer: See the bottom (don't want to ruin the surprise)

Rating: K+ (not for little kids - I really don't think it even needs to be this high, I'm just not sure little kids might understand that Vampires are not real or are they and because there's a statement that doesn't agree with Christian Theology despite the fact that the name and the history of the name are from the Bible.)

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The train moved quickly, passing one farm field after another. In a private compartment, Xander Harris was sitting listening a woman tell her story with a stoic expression on his face. 

"And so," she concluded, "your birth father was born to hunt vampires, as the son of Lady Elizabeth Hellsing and Sir Harold Bellmont.

Noticing that Xander's expression hadn't changed, the woman wondered if he was in shock, or if he really understood.

"I understand that this might be hard to accept . . . "

"Oh, no, I get it." Xander interrupted the woman. "I was always the normal one. I have fought vampires since high school, and I was the normal one. I fought alongside 3 slayers; the two who are alive are alive because of me. I fought alongside two witches, one of whom almost ended the world, but I talked her out of it. I fought against a goddess, and the First Evil didn't even try to play his mind games with me when we were facing him. I even guarded the key, and I was the normal one."

There was a moment's pause before he continued.

"I am the normal one, and know that you are not 'just a messenger' like you claim, but are really a demon, specifically a High Vampire, you at least eight or nine centuries old, and if it weren't for some serious magic, you would be trying to kill me rather than recruit me to fight against the darkness."

The woman could now only gape at him. He was right, of course.

"Further, I already knew about my father, and the two families that joined in him. But you didn't know that. And you know why?"

He didn't wait for her to answer.

"Because you made the same assumption that everyone else does. You assume that I am normal, or in your case that I am the one that thinks I am normal. Well, guess what. I am not normal. Sure my father's parents were special, but do you have any idea who my mother's parents were?

She didn't, but didn't need to bother to tell him that. He knew she didn't know.

"I'll give you a hint. My mother's father is one of the children of Avalon: one with a pension for pranks and mischief."

The woman didn't know what to say, couldn't do anything but stammer as she realized who he was talking about.

"P. . . puh . . . Puck"?

Xander smirked at her.

"Yup, and if you think that is impressive, guess who my mother's mother was!"

Not knowing who could possibly be more impressive than Puck, and having not been given any clues, she could only just look at the young man with her jaw dropped.

"Her name was Muriel, and she too was Vampire."

If the woman were human, and could place the name, she would have fainted. Instead the High Vampire sitting in the compartment with him went into a state of shock. Muriel was not just a vampire. She was the only child of the being more recently known as Dracula, whom for millennia before was known as Cain, the first and most powerful of all the Gods of Hell.

Xander Harris, whom everyone thought to be the ordinary one, was really anything but. Through his father, he was the human heir to not one but two of the most powerful and wealthy families ever to exist. Through his mother's father, and a decree by his great grandfather, he was the heir of Avalon and all it's power should Oberon ever step down as King of the Fey, or be destroyed. Possibly the most shocking, however, was that Xander was a Hell God. One that combined with the other blood lines was the most powerful being to walk the earth in two thousand years.

"So, little vampire. Do you still want me to join your cause?"

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Disclaimers

I do not own Xander, whom is from the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I do not own the Hellsing name, which i believe comes from Mary Shelly's Dracula (never read it, so this is not confirmed) as well as is referenced to in various television shows and movies. Bellmont (forgive me if I've spelled it wrong) comes from Castlevania video game series. Avalon, Puck, and Oberon come from Shakespeare's A Mid Summer's Night Dream, but most of what I know of it comes from the TV show Gargoyles, which I also do not own. Muriel is a pretty name I picked, and Dracula comes from Marry Shelly's Dracula, and Cain is from the Bible. I have read other fan fiction where they were one in the same, so I guess I do not own that either.

This was inspired by a much longer fic on XanderZone, a yahoo group with huge amounts of posted fiction, dedicated to Xander. In it Xander himself the first joining of the Bellmont and Hellsing clans, rather than in this story his father is.

If you like this fic, please adopt it. Just contact me to let me know.


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